The Buffalo Bills were less than a minute away from defeating the Miami Dolphins when CBS play-by-play man Spero Dedes and color commentator Adam Archuleta moved the conversation to mustaches, for some reason, and whether Archuleta could grow one by the next week's game. Well, Archuleta's response was pretty unusual, to say the least, and showed a keen misunderstanding of pornography.
A Dirty Sanchez? Does Archuleta know what that is?
I won't get into what that phrase means, but it has nothing to do with actual facial hair. Just look it up on Urban Dictionary. The fact that we were also gifted with a "squeeze one out" here is just...too choice. Adam, be more careful, sir.
Of course, the non-sexual meaning Archuleta seemed to be intending was...a Mexican person's mustache, which is also very much not great! So, Archuleta hurt himself in a multitude of ways, no matter what meaning he was referring to.
It's OK to turn the man's mic off in the waning minutes of Bills-'Phins. Really, it is.