Steven Jackson Got a Random Drug Test After Signing 1-Day Contract to Retire With Rams
By Adam Weinrib
If you think this is a poorly-constructed Onion article featuring an antiquated joke about how the NFL is painfully unaware, we don't blame you.
Unfortunately, you'd be wrong.
It's actually a real article displaying the same thing. It's finely-constructed.
Steven Jackson, former Rams great, signed a one-day contract to retire with the team earlier this week. He was rewarded by the league for his career full of goodwill with a call from the league for a random drug test.
Dear NFL can you tell Mr. Lombardo that I signed a one day contract. I will not be reporting today for my random drug test screening. Thanks in advance #retirement life ?
— Steven Jackson (@sj39) August 1, 2019
Jackson wasn't kidding. He also didn't go anywhere near the facility... which is a violation! You hear that, Mr. Jackson? That's a suspension! No more NFL for you.
Yep ?
— Steven Jackson (@sj39) August 1, 2019
Other recent retirees couldn't believe it...
No way bro
— Chris Long (@JOEL9ONE) August 1, 2019
...but this is just the world we live in.
It seems Jackson may be comfortable enough in his retirement to joke. Either that, or he's hiding something, and doesn't want to blow a potential midseason comeback.
Tin foil hats on, folks! The NFL is full of geniuses after all!!