At this point, we're fully convinced that the Houston Astros are trolling us. Of course, the club's 2020 shame tour stemming from their nefarious sign-stealing scandal was put on hold when the MLB season was suspended due to the coronavirus crisis, but the emotions are all still there.
Now, however, it appears that the Astros are rubbing all this in our faces as, Twitter discovered a wild George "DJ" Springer bobblehead on Wednesday that does not need to exist and just gives us another reason to pulse with rage.
Does this even look like George Springer? We're going with a solid no.
You're telling us that the Astros want the world to celebrate Springer's status as the clubhouse DJ? Sorry, but that's not happening in this lifetime. This honestly could be worse than Houston's cheating operation itself, which famously resulted in the firing of general manager Jeff Luhnow and skipper AJ Hinch and helped the club win a World Series.
The Astros luckily managed to sidestep feeling the wrath of fans this season in full force, as their biggest haters likely won't be allowed inside stadiums due to concern over the spread of COVID-19.
That all changes now with DJ Springer entering the fold. Nothing can be the same after this.
Not only did the chance of us enjoying a night's sleep decrease tenfold, but our eyes have also been cursed after getting a load of this bizarre bobblehead Thanks a lot, Houston. You are truly the gift that keeps on giving.
Feel free to stop at any time.