NBA Fans Are Absolutely Ripping the Alleged Alternate Disgusting Celtics Jerseys

I would suspect we're being pranked here, but Halloween isn't generally known as a pranking holiday. It is instead known for its trademark spooks, and Boston fans (and anyone who sides with tradition) got a monstrous one early on Monday. Celtics big man Enes Kanter leaked what appear to be the team's newest alternate jerseys on his Instagram story, and they look like... nothing we've ever seen.

I'm all for mixing up stale imagery with a fresh new twist, but what on earth makes these recognizably "Celtics"? The NBA team with a Scotch-Irish bent is associated with green, white, banners, four-leaf clovers, and titles. At no point over the past 60+ years of greatness have they ever clothed themselves in Blue Raspberry Gushers packets replete with two different fonts.

I'm really not kidding: I'm trying to be open-minded here, but I see neither relevance nor beauty. What's the purpose? If we're already at the "mish-mash random color combinations and abandon all hope" portion of the Nike contract in Year 3, then I fear for the rest of the league.

Get ready for Gravy Brown and Fuschia Heat jerseys! Love your orange and blue, Knicks? Well, here comes the highlighter yellow rebrand, and your name is the "Knocks" now.

I love how every tweet about these jerseys asked for "thought." Come on, Internet! You knew what you were doing. Nobody's going to pop into the comment section to go, "These are cool! Also, I love my family!"

In fact, that's what I would tweet if I were being held hostage.

If the Celtics want to start repping a different Kool-Aid color every year and test funky new fonts on the front and back, I guess we just have to accept it. The fine people of GE can't be too happy, though.

Maybe this is just the NBA bending to China again, and relocating all their jersey design/manufacture to eBay stores? Food for thought.