We thought we knew Woj Bombs. We thought we were well-acquainted with how this usually goes.
"Just one more before the long summer," we thought. "Russell Westbrook to the Heat, eh? Corn's coming in mighty nice, I reckon."
And who could forget about the purgatory Chris Paul now lives in, bereft of teammates.
He genuinely thought he was about to join a Big Three. He's not! Unless Steven Adams and Andre Roberson counts.
Congrats, though, Houston? You've earned another award?
Can't wait for all Rockets fans to completely 180 and get whiplash while defending why triple-doubles are actually important and a team-first stat.
Of course, it might be a little harder for Russ to get trip-dubs with some big men in his way.
Get outta the paint, fella!
Russ could've foretold this years ago, though. We just weren't listening.
Everyone in OKC, make some noise!
It was just a year ago that PG-13 and Russ were running it back, presumably forever.
Now you've got picks! Glorious picks! Oh, and also Danilo Gallinari.
So, what about these new-look Rockets, though? I'm sure they'll take care of the bal--oh, dear God, NO!!!
At the very least, the Thunder draft well. So their future is bright!
Ahh, right. They've never employed a single shooter. We forgot!
In conclusion, the NBA is broken, better than ever, and 2/3 different than it was even THREE YEARS AGO.
Sweet dreams! You can rest easy now, NBA fans. Probably. Maybe.
No, you can't. CP3 will end up a Laker somehow.