​Well, it finally happened: the future most interesting wrestler in the WWE has announced his retirement, and Tom Brady just lost his most important cog, meaning he'll only go 13-3 in the most impotent division in football next year en route to another title.


​Tough life for those Patriots!


The only fun thing about that godforsaken team ​is now gone, but don't worry; Twitter sent him out in style.

THIS ISN'T HOW THE ​TB12 METHOD WAS SUPPOSED TO GO? AREN'T YOU STILL PLIABLE ENOUGH, ROBERT?!


And yes, most messages were sent in the nicest way we know how.

​​I mean, come on. Could it get more perfect than that?

In a dream world, it could've. ​​


Against all odds, though, this stat is somehow real.

At least there's one!


So, what's next for the kid?

​​That's probably it!


Although there's a more rational, local possibility for his next move...

​​LITERALLY tomorrow. You know this is happening.


HERE HE COMES!


With Gronk, it's really the stories that will linger, even longer than his on-field exploits. Like this one!

​​Every moment of the day, he's just...perfectly Gronk.

​​Whether he's chugging wine or macking on Tide Pods, he can always be counted on to be the life of the party, even if Bill Belichick has no interest in throwing a party of any kind.

​​He's just Gronk. And we'll never see the likes of him again.


The all-time nicest.