Well, it finally happened: the future most interesting wrestler in the WWE has announced his retirement, and Tom Brady just lost his most important cog, meaning he'll only go 13-3 in the most impotent division in football next year en route to another title.
Tough life for those Patriots!
The only fun thing about that godforsaken team is now gone, but don't worry; Twitter sent him out in style.
Live look-in at Tom Brady after Gronk announced his retirement pic.twitter.com/1JwdfsZPxI— NOTSportsCenter (@NOTSportsCenter) March 24, 2019
THIS ISN'T HOW THE TB12 METHOD WAS SUPPOSED TO GO? AREN'T YOU STILL PLIABLE ENOUGH, ROBERT?!
And yes, most messages were sent in the nicest way we know how.
Of course @RobGronkowski is retiring now.— Rich Eisen (@richeisen) March 24, 2019
If he’s a first ballot Hall or Famer, that means he’ll be enshrined in 6 years after playing 9.
I mean, come on. Could it get more perfect than that?
In a dream world, it could've.
Against all odds, though, this stat is somehow real.
Possibly the best stat of all-time: For his career, in the regular season, @RobGronkowski averaged .69 touchdowns per game. Much love and respect to the greatest fantasy football tight end ever. pic.twitter.com/oZhgFsqPKi— Matthew Berry (@MatthewBerryTMR) March 24, 2019
At least there's one!
So, what's next for the kid?
That's probably it!
Although there's a more rational, local possibility for his next move...
LITERALLY tomorrow. You know this is happening.
When the WWE hears that Gronk retired ... 😂 pic.twitter.com/g2I755gOnD— SportsNation (@SportsNation) March 24, 2019
HERE HE COMES!
Gronk getting ready for Wrestlemania tomorrow pic.twitter.com/KSDEWzQ6nG— Shooter McGavin (@ShooterMcGavin_) March 24, 2019
With Gronk, it's really the stories that will linger, even longer than his on-field exploits. Like this one!
First time I met Gronk was at his house in Tampa the night before a blackout party. First words he said to me was “hey man good meeting you come funnel this”. He set the tone on and off the field.— Gaz (@stoolsalesguy) March 24, 2019
Every moment of the day, he's just...perfectly Gronk.
What a career for Gronk. Half man half machine. pic.twitter.com/moCLe1LLTV— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) March 24, 2019
Whether he's chugging wine or macking on Tide Pods, he can always be counted on to be the life of the party, even if Bill Belichick has no interest in throwing a party of any kind.
Rob Gronkowski's high school yearbook. Classic! 😂💯— Timeless Sports (@timelesssports_) March 24, 2019
Happy retirement, Gronk. pic.twitter.com/qST8pOTjHg
He's just Gronk. And we'll never see the likes of him again.
The all-time nicest.