​During Spring Training, Cleveland Indians' pitchers were discussing who among them was the most athletic. 


When the players singled out ​Mike Clevinger, he had a hilarious response to being named the most athletic hurler ​in the rotation


Clevinger compared his own athleticism to that of LeBron James, claiming that while James would look foolish in an MLB batter's box, he is still the greatest athlete in the world. While that part of his comment was pretty standard, it's what he said next that is truly hilarious and shocking. 

Clevinger's next comments were, "It’s like a vegan saying you can’t drink milk — do animals drink other animals’ milk? No, because they don’t have the thumbs to milk their nipples. Of course not. But if they did, do you know what a dog would be doing every (expletive) day?”


Somehow, that is where Clevinger arrived as a result of discussing his athleticism. He claims that dogs would be milking cows' nipples every day if they had opposable thumbs, and that somehow relates to him being athletic despite not appearing to be. 

There's really not much to say about his comments, other than that they are incredibly weird and I'd love to spend a day picking at Clevinger's mind. There's probably a treasure chest's worth of odd thoughts that even he didn't have the audacity to voice.


But for now, let's just enjoy this nugget straight out of the mind and mouth of Clevinger, as I don't expect to see a more confusing quote for a long time.