33 seconds into UNC-Duke on Wednesday night, Zion Williamson was eliminated from the contest, felled by his own sneaker.
No, we're not sure how that happened. No, we've never seen anything like that. Yes, we knew immediately that Darren Rovell would tweet some nonsense about the stock market.
Bottom line, this was far from perfect for everyone involved. Zion primarily, though.
Zion Williamson should declare for the draft from inside the MRI machine.— Charles P. Pierce (@CharlesPPierce) February 21, 2019
Harsh, but fair.
You really have to feel awful for the fans, too. Only the richest people and tent-inhabiters were able to make it into Cameron Indoor, and they got an amazing game, but only 33 seconds of the main man.
Strongest 30-second performance you'll ever see, though. They'll write about it in the history books.
Even the shoe chimed in.
Guys, I'm really sorry. I let us all down, including my main man Zion Williamson. pic.twitter.com/Coz2xk6Wu3— Zion's Sneaker (@ZionSneaker) February 21, 2019
I let the whole squad down. It hurts my sole.
Seriously, though, where else have you ever seen anything like this?
Zion Williamson be like.... pic.twitter.com/1eZ56IawSS— Mike Ortiz Jr. (@OrtizDYST) February 21, 2019
Only in the world of insane cinema featuring Bow Wow.
Seriously, though, what did you do when you heard the news? Full on sobs or taking action like this, those are the only options.
“Zion Williamson will not return tonight.” pic.twitter.com/USmDE7aWR2— JT (@Just__JT) February 21, 2019
Just so bleak.
You've got to feel awful for ESPN, too. What the hell are they going to show all day on Thursday? Hockey?!
Behind the scenes at ESPN, with executives discussing what to talk about with Zion Williamson now hurt and LeBron off pic.twitter.com/P2QEciv7Tw— NOTSportsCenter (@NOTSportsCenter) February 21, 2019
Just tragic for all involved.
Some folks were (shudders) celebrating, though. Hate to even be showing you this.
Under Armor, Adidas, and New Balance after Zion Williamson sneaker tore apart mid game: pic.twitter.com/mqpxOCInK2— Tyler Nordquist (@NordquistTyler) February 21, 2019
Yup. Phil Knight, are you seeing this?
Probably time to get some of those folks on the horn, though, Zion. Nike won't be hearing from you for a while.
Nike: "Hey buddy, we just wanted to apologize for your shoe explod--"— Josiah Johnson (@KingJosiah54) February 21, 2019
Zion Williamson: pic.twitter.com/Wj24vQOT5P
Delete my number.
Turns out, the only man who can stop Zion the Mountain is actually a shoe.
Zion Williamson : “I’m about to drop 40 on UNC tonight”— Gilbert Arenas (@GilbertAgent0) February 21, 2019
Zion Williamson’s Nikes : pic.twitter.com/qs38pVm12F
There's one silver lining, though, kid. There's one place on earth you can end up where the Nike kicks don't matter.
Come to New York, fella. It's the only way.