​33 seconds into UNC-Duke on Wednesday night, ​Zion Williamson was eliminated from the contest, felled by his own sneaker.


No, we're not sure how that happened. No, we've never seen anything like that. Yes, we knew immediately that Darren Rovell ​would tweet some nonsense about the stock market.


Bottom line, this was far from perfect for everyone involved. Zion primarily, though.

​​Harsh, but fair.


You really have to feel awful for the fans, too. Only the richest people and tent-inhabiters were able to make it into Cameron Indoor, and they got an amazing game, but only 33 seconds of the main man.

​​Strongest 30-second performance you'll ever see, though. They'll write about it in the history books.


Even the shoe chimed in.

​​I let the whole squad down. It hurts my sole.


Seriously, though, where else have you ever seen anything like this?

​​Only in the world of insane cinema featuring Bow Wow.


Seriously, though, what did you do when you heard the news? Full on sobs or taking action like this, those are the only options.

​​Just so bleak.


You've got to feel awful for ESPN, too. What the hell are they going to show all day on Thursday? Hockey?!

​​Just tragic for all involved.


Some folks were (shudders) celebrating, though. Hate to even be showing you this.

​​Yup. Phil Knight, are you seeing this?


Probably time to get some of those folks on the horn, though, Zion. Nike won't be hearing from you for a while.

​​Delete my number.


Turns out, the only man who can stop Zion the Mountain is actually a shoe.

​​There's one silver lining, though, kid. There's one place on earth you can end up where the Nike kicks don't matter.

​​Come to New York, fella. It's the only way.