Last offseason, we had one of the slowest burning hot stoves in Major League Baseball history, with almost no free agents signing early, and several marquee names remaining unsigned by the time Spring tTaining started.

This year might be the exact opposite, if this story is any indication. 

The crown jewel of the long-awaited 2019 free agent class, Bryce Harper has apparently got a deal in place already, according to agent Scott Boras.

​​Evidently the decision has already been made, but no announcement will come until Harper is ready because he "wants to tell us himself," according to Boras, leading to speculation that we could be subjected to some sort of self-indulgent, LeBron James' "Decision"-esque performance from the slugger who's likely to become baseball's first ​400 or even 500-million dollar man.

​​If that is the case, it's nothing short of a terrible idea; even LeBron admits that his "Decision" stunt was the wrong way to handle free agency. But hey, Bryce, do what you're gonna do. I'm not trying to clown you.

Just, ​please don't sign with the Cubs.