​LaVar Ball hasn't been heard from in awhile. Strange, right? And while the whole sports world probably couldn't be happier about his apparent desire to lay lower than usual, The Ringer's Bill Simmons has a wild theory that might explain everything.


On WFAN radio with Mike Francesa, the Sports Guy suspects that the ​Los Angeles Lakers are handing him paychecks to stay quiet now that LeBron James wears Purple and Gold alongside eldest son Lonzo.

​​Although it sounds totally ridiculous, Simmons might actually have a point. With the signing of LBJ, it's clear that the Lakers will have even more attention set on their franchise. When you land the best basketball player of all time, you really don't want distractions to ruin the presence of greatness. And nobody is a bigger distraction than LaVar.


If James brought the ​Cavs to the NBA Finals last season with practically no help, the Lakers could potentially make a lot of noise in the Western Conference in the years to come thanks to a young supporting cast that features Lonzo, Kyle Kuzma, and Brandon Ingram.

Having a player's dad become an unnecessary storyline was cute when Lonzo was being drafted, but he's now an established professional athlete. Whatever it takes to keep the overbearing patriarch quiet is probably worth it, but for the interest of decency, the ideal situation is that he suddenly decided to moderate himself of his own free will.


​Not likely, I know. Not likely at all.