Bill Walton: the Most Entertaining Commentator in Western Civilization

​If you've been tuning into college basketball's Maui Invitational this week, you've been graced by color commentator Bill Walton's presence. Known not only for his skill on the court in his playing days, Walton is very well-versed in different knowledge bases, most notably music and cultural aspects of life. Luckily for us, he shares many non-basketball stories and makes several hilarious and seemingly unrelated statements throughout the games that he works. Here are some of the best Bill Walton stories and statements from what is becoming a legendary broadcasting career. 

11. "If The Doctor Tells You That You Have A Minute To Live..."

​... then it better be at a basketball game. This is just one of many, many incredible Walton quotes from this season's Maui Invitational. What's certain is that Walton would choose the basketball court as the one place on Earth that he'd want to spend his last minutes.

10. Ray Allen Is Like A Guitar Player... On A Roll

​Making at least one Grateful Dead reference per broadcast, Walton delivered this gem when covering one of Ray Allen's games early in his career. As you can tell, his undeniable ability to captivate television and radio audiences dates back pretty far.

9. Bill Walton Loves China

Covering the Texas vs. Washington game in Shanghai to tip off the college basketball season for both schools, Walton had to express his love for the country of China in the opening minutes. It was one of many monologues during that game (I watched it just to hear Walton chime in).

8. Gilbert Arenas Used To "Wake Up On Our Living Room Couch"

​After saying that he loved Gilbert Arenas and wished him the best, but he "lost his mind", Walton went on to share perhaps a little too much information about the former NBA and Arizona Wildcat star. People actually watch and listen to you, Bill!

7. Jason Kidd's "Crystal Green Eyes"

​Jason Kidd was one of the NBA's best point guards of all time. Bill Walton was a big fan, and along with explaining his unique passing abilities, Walton was also a big fan of Kidd's "crystal green eyes", which he referenced multiple times while covering the Nets early in Kidd's career.

6. Walton Gives Absurd Gifts To Play-By-Play Man

A cake, Charles Darwin's "The Origin of the Species", and a Jerry Garcia book were the presents that Walton gave to the play-by-play man in this video. What made it even more classic? He didn't even know the guy's name. 

5. Walton + Weed = Magic

​As you can imagine, Walton is a proponent of legalized marijuana. Listen to him go off on the NCAA (and the U.S. Department of Justice along with President Obama) over unfair treatment of those who have tested positive for the drug. 

4. Utah= The "Technological Center Of The Universe"

When someone asks you what you think the technological center of the universe is, where do you think of? Silicon Valley? Tokyo? According to Bill Walton, look no further than Utah. Known for making grandiose statements, this is one of his best.

3. The Bob Dylan Rant

​In a February 2015 Pac 12 contest between Oregon and USC, Walton decided to become fully immersed in commenting about Bob Dylan, who had just given a speech "down the road" from the arena the game was being played at. Nearly three minutes of gems in this video...

2. "Have You Ever Been To A Volcano When It Was Erupting?"

​Walton continued his coverage through the 2015 Pac 12 Tournament and as Utah was closing out a blowout victory over Stanford, Walton not only dissed the style of play he just watched, but also shared his plans for the next few days. As you can imagine, it was an entertaining sequence!

1. Bears vs. Huskies... Who Ya Got?

In this hilarious analysis, Walton provides his detailed knowledge of what happens when huskies and bears fight (as if that's a common sight to see). Also, if you weren't watching his game, you'd never know that in 1933, the Department of Fish and Wildlife brought 27 bears from Yosemite to Los Angeles... where there is now a bear problem in the hills.