​We know Bryce Harper's been spending the past few weeks rehabbing as hard as possible to make it back in time for the Nats playoff push.


What we didn't know is that, in the process, he also transformed into a rastafarian alien from a faraway planet that sucks.


Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes on Predator Bryce Harper.

​​Yes, Bryce, I am genuinely not sure what mall includes a salon that'll do this to a young man from Las Vegas in the middle of it.


Baseball fans, all D.C. residents, and everyone who feels any sort of responsibility for keeping society clean pray that you finish your rehab expediently, dude. We don't want to see how much further this can go.


Because you know--you just know--that with any extra time off, he's doing something to the beard, too.